I am stealthily creeping around the edge of a mountain. Sixteen feet of snow could collapse on my head and suffocate me if I make one wrong move. Why did the president of Afghan's two stupid daughters have to get trapped in a cave halfway up Mt. Everest? Oh well, if he wants to pay me to get them out...
Suddenly I am aware of two Russian spies speaking at barely above a whisper, yet I catch them because the snow amplifies EVERYTHING. They are chasing me. They still want me to tell them where we keep our island. Never will I tell them. I run through the snow carefully to a point where I can dig out my sniper equipment, and I wait for them to come around the drift. I shoot them with tranquilizers, (never real bullets, we're the good guys right? Plus, they have to be around to chase me later) and I suddenly see a flare. Well at least Patricia and Penelope know how to use their rescue equipment. They probably planned this.
I make my way to the cave entrance, and walk inside, getting ready for a break to brief them on how we are going to get back down the mountain. But to my chagrine, it is not the stupid first daughters, but my arch-enemy Jack Calamity.
"Ha ha! Now you will die!" He says to me, and cackles nefariously.
Even though it was probably really stupid to wear my leather pants in the Himalayas, I am. You know me. So I kicked him senseless, and when I thought I had the upperhand, I tried to rush away, but he grabbed my foot, and injected something terrible in my leg. I punched him in the face, and tried to run away, but all the sudden I was very sleepy.
I woke up in an underground tunnel beneath the subway.
"Why didn't you just kill me quick and get it over, Jack?" I asked him, exasperatedly.
"That would be to simple, and besides, I am mentally over the edge: you know that Rachel."
"I had heard that you spent some time in rehab though..."
"REHAB IS FOR WEAK VILLAINS!" He screamed in my face.
"Well, Guy Badd is getting better. He sent me a postcard," he calmed down.
"Oh, how is Guy, by the way?" He asked.
"Um, sounds like he's doing good. They won't let him have any weapons though."
"Ah...a shame. Okay. Now back to business. I was trying to pick how to kill you. Should I throw you in front of the subway, or will you pull a Mr. Anderson on me? Hmmm. I could shoot you in the head, or stab you in the stomach."
"Or you could let me go."
"What would I get out of that?"
"What did I ever do to you Jack?"
"Remember that one time in highschool..."
"My mom doesn't let me go to prom with guys like you Jack. You're bad."
"Rachel, it is time to die."
He ended up throwing me in front of the subway, but I curled up in a ball and it went right over me. One of those types, you know?
"I figured you really didn't want me to die, Jack. Anyway, I'll see you around, " I said, getting up and throwing the ropes at him as he stood dumbfounded, and I ran away. Its a good thing I'm in shape these days.